Year One, Month 6, Day 22
Yeah, I know.
I know what I wrote in my last post about NOT being in love in Alex…yet.
After last night’s date with him, I realized it was too late.
I’m in love.
I’m scared, hopeful, forgetful.
I can’t keep my thoughts off him for very long…and I’m not just remembering the sex.
I think about his smile…how his eyes light up as soon as he sees me…how my hand feels in his…how safe I feel when I am with him.
I wonder how his day is going…I send him a funny text or video clip during his lunch break because I want to make him laugh during the day.
I want to fall asleep in his arms each night. I want to see his face as soon as I awaken in the morning. I want to enjoy a cup of coffee with him as we both prepare for the day.
I want to cuddle with him on the couch while watching a movie and eating popcorn. Even sitting in silence and reading books sounds like a perfect way to spend an evening.
Is it too fast? Am I being foolish? Does he feel the same way?
Now, I don’t know what to do. Stay quiet about my feelings …or tell him.
It’s devastating l to say “I love you” and not get an “I love you” back.
All I know is when I look in his eyes, I see myself reflected back.
Is that love?
I wish I knew.
Take my hand
Take my whole life too
Cause I can’t help falling in love with you…