Year One, Month 7, Day 25
Cupid is a sneaky little bastard.
Alex used the “L” word. (And I don’t mean “lesbian.”)
In an earlier post, I had admitted that I was falling in love with him, but I was completely unsure about how he felt about me. He’s been through so much the last ten years, that I didn’t really think he WANTED to fall in love again.
And I wasn’t sure I was ready for it myself.
Well, let me explain how it happened.
We had gotten together for our usual Friday night date. This time it was dinner and we stopped by one of my dearest friend’s home for her 50th birthday party. (Yes, I’m slowly introducing Allen to my friends and family.) He was a hit with Annette and her hubby.
We got back to my place, and well, you know. We are still in the stage where we can’t keep our hands off each other. 🙂
When we woke up the next morning, we enjoyed each other,coffee, breakfast, and each other (again).
But this time somethingfelt very different. I could feel the emotional connection and his vulnerability. His gentleness and his passion.
At one point, he raises up on his forearms, looks me square in the eye and says “I love you, Lizzie.”
My heart stopped and I could feel tears in my eyes. I thought to myself…”Does he love me or does he love fucking me? ” I knew I was going to have to gently find out what he meant, since men will say the darndest things during sex.
I, of course, replied, “I love you, Alex.” It is honestly how I feel, and I thought may as well let the cat out of the bag.
He saw the tears in my eyes, kissed them away, and said, “I hope those are happy tears, Sweetie. I’m going to do everything in my power to make you happy…and I’m never letting you go.”
Afterwards, he grinned at me and said “Oops…we’ve gone and done it now.” I asked him if he really meant it when he said he loved me….or was is just the sex?
Alex smiled at me and said, “I love you AND making love to you. They are one and the same. I knew pretty early on I was falling for you…and I could see how you felt about me when I looked in your eyes. Yours really are ‘windows to the soul,” Lizzie. It just felt right at that moment to tell you how I felt.”
I told him that I had meant what I said…that I loved him too and he was stuck with me.
“But,” I continued, “I know this complicates things for you, and that you probably weren’t looking or expecting to fall in love. Let’s just see how everything goes and not rush things. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, Alex. All I want is to make you happy for the rest of my life.”
“You already do that, Sweetie,” he said.
I’ve found one of my ones.
Stuck on you
I’ve got this feeling down
Deep in my soul
That I just can’t lose
Guess, I’m on my way
Needed a friend
And the way I feel now I guess
I’ll be with you till the end
Guess I’m on my way
Mighty glad you stayed