I THINK he may be coming back into my life.
I shouldn’t let him back into my life and bed.
But I don’t think we are done with each other yet.
Our communication has really dwindled the last couple of months. We’ll exchange jokes, briefly catch up on what’s happening in our lives…the kind of stuff FRIENDS do.
But over the last couple of weeks, the conversations have been flirty…and he’s getting more sexual with me.
In fact, we had one hell of a conversation earlier this week.
It all started when I posted this comment on Facebook: “Since when did Linked In connections become love connections? Some guy just made a pass at me on Linked In. REALLY?!?”
As expected, my friends got a big laugh out of it with me. But I got this private message from Peter…
Peter: A dude checked out your resume on LinkedIn and proceeded to hit on you? (I kinda get that, though.)
Me: Yeah… Made me laugh. Guess he has good taste.
Peter: I just pulled it up on Google… no photo… yeah, he has good taste, and he plays probabilities: your profession runs less ugly than most
Me: my linked in photo is the one from April when I was newly McPhee’d. And I ain’t the purtiest one out there by any means…
Peter: Your photo did not pop up on Google… I must make another attempt…
Me: that’s the linked in pic… one of my better ones, I have to admit…though my nose is a little large in it…
(insert photo here)
I’m just relieved that you still kinda sorta like me…
Peter: McPhee’d… you made a word… you are hot
Me: I’m a word smith… and I’m talented in many things…
Peter: I understand your written and oral talents
Me: Yes, I am very talented with my mouth…
Peter Braggart. Brag any more and my ginormous penis will be written about.
Yeah…we ended up cybering each other…all night. (No…I’m not going to let y’all read the rest of the conversation. Some things need to remain private between the two of us.) However, he implied that he is still having some erectile issues caused by his prostatitis. (And probably depression. I think he suffers from low grade depression brought on by his recent illness and his relationship quandry with HER and me.)
I suspect if he felt more confident in his ability to perform, we would be sleeping together. (He won’t take the ED drugs; he hates what they do to his blood pressure.)
The sexual attraction is still there between us. That’s no surprise. THAT will always be there between us, no matter what.
And, Peter is a bit of a voyeur as well. Again, that’s not a surprise. He’s essentially said that to me as well. So I suspect he kind of likes thinking about me with other guys.
But, I also think he is a tad more possessive of me than I realized. Whenever I make a comment about guys I go out with, he ALWAYS messages me and tells me to be careful, watch out for opportunists and douche bags.
After the other night, I believe he is thinking about restarting our physical relationship. I know about the addiction affair partners develop for each other. Especially if they don’t cease contact.
There’s probably some of that going on between us.
That doesn’t mean, however, that I’m going to stop seeing other men.
I’m not completely stupid. Peter and I are NOT in an exclusive relationship.
In fact, the dude who stood me up last week is trying to get back into my good graces. And there are a couple of 30 somethings who have made it perfectly clear they want to hook up. (I don’t do hook ups…and I am pacing the meetings with these two young guys until I feel comfortable with them.) There is even a fourth guy my age who’s pressing for a meeting as well. I’m quite sure all four of these guys would be “flings;” nothing wrong with that if you in agreement about WHAT the relationship is about.
Yes…these four guys are all for another post…once I see what’s going on with them.
So, here I go again…