15 Things You Should Give Up to be Happy


Day 365

I know I haven’t been writing a lot lately…it’s not that there hasn’t been anything to write ABOUT…it’s just that I’ve been occupied with life and, love, and yes, sex, the last couple of weeks.  I promise I’ll get you caught up this weekend on some interesting developments. 🙂

Gentle Readers, on my one year “Blog-iversay” here is an article  I thought I would pass along.  I have seen this many times, but, as I read it again today, I realized just HOW true it is…and just how much of it I have applied to my life…and how much of it I still have to apply to my life. 

Enjoy…

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO ALWAYS BE RIGHT

 There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. GIVE UP YOUR NEED FOR CONTROL

 Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel. 

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. GIVE UP ON BLAME

 Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. GIVE UP YOUR SELF-DEFEATING SELF-TALK

Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. GIVE UP YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. GIVE UP COMPLAINING

 Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. GIVE UP THE LUXURY OF CRITICISM

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. GIVE UP YOUR NEED TO IMPRESS OTHERS

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. GIVE UP YOUR RESISTANCE TO CHANGE

 Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. GIVE UP LABELS

 Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. GIVE UP ON YOUR FEARS

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. GIVE UP THE PAST

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. GIVE UP ATTACHMENT

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. GIVE UP LIVING YOUR LIFE TO OTHER PEOPLE’S EXPECTATIONS

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

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Working for Living…hopefully…


Day 345

I am little antsy Gentle Readers.

I have a job interview tomorrow…the first face to face interview I’ve managed to land since I was laid off a couple of months ago.

God, I hope I don’t mess it up.

We had a quick, fifteen minute phone interview last week that went well.  By the end of it, I knew I would land the face to face …especially when the interviewer said “I think you can pretty much count on an in-person interview next week, Elizabeth.”

Actually, I don’t think I will screw it up. I have always interviewed well. It’s been rare that I DON’T get the job after an in-person interview.   I have worked there before; I loved working there. I was laid off when the economy tanked in 2008.   Luckily, I left on good terms, and am still connected with a lot of the current employees through Facebook.

In fact, I think one of my interviewers tomorrow will be a former co-worker who is now in management.  And the one person there (outside the interviewer) who knows I’m up for the job has promised”talk me up” to help me get the job.

The thing is, I’m perfectly qualified for this job…except in actual EXPERIENCE. It’s for a “new media,” digital job…not an “old media” writing or producing job for which I am more than qualified. ( In fact, I’m probably a better old school TV writer/producer than most of the people on the staff.  I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I am VERY good at what I do.)  It has been genuinely frustrating the last four and half years that I haven’t been able to actually do it because of how media outlets have been cutting back personnel to stay profitable.

I’ve spent most of the last few days “cramming;” I’ve read so much about SEO, SMM, social media and mobile marketing I think my brain is going to explode.

Here I am…a 49 year old woman trying to hit the restart button on her career.  I am forcing myself out of my comfort zone and trying to move my career into the future…otherwise I’ll end up having to move into another career field…and it is proving difficult to persuade employers in other industries that my client and communication skills are transferable and VALUABLE in any business.

By this time tomorrow I’ll know if I hit a home run or if I struck out.

I can’t wait for this damn interview to be over…

Well Hello, Mrs. Robinson…


Day 231

Guess it’s time for me to update you Gentle Reader on my younger admirers.

6990976-beautiful-shocked-cell-phone-womanFirst up is “Neal.” He is on his way to his new job in his home state…no meetup… and no contact since I refused to have phone sex with him last week. (Seriously…phone sex with a man I never met who is moving about 800 miles away in a few days?) No big loss there; if anything had come about it would have a hook up. Meh. 😐

u20740573Next up is “Sam.” He has been doing his disappearing act STILL for the last couple of weeks. Gone for several days, then pops up for a day or two and then gone again. The final straw for me was today. He FINALLY got up the nerve to actually ask for a face to face meeting(Thursday) for Sunday, after some out-of-town friends who were staying with him left. He wasn’t sure what time, but he thought he should be free about 2pm. Thinking to myself, “Yeah, this is going to happen” I agreed to meet him for brunch at one of downtown’s hot spots. Sam promised to text once he knew he was free. (Again I thought, “yeah, right.”) He did text me a few hours before our meeting time, but said nothing about seeing me. He then abruptly ended the “conversation.” I knew he was going to pull his disappearing act. I’m done with these childish games with him. When he reappears in a couple of days (or week…who knows when) he’ll be ignored. I don’t know what his issues are…but he has them…and I’m not going to stick around to find out what they are. 😛 🙄

Now, let me introduce you to the new “young ones” who entered into the picture a few days ago.

First, “The Marine.” He is a 27-year-old 😮 pre-law student at the university. Appears to be very intelligent, disciplined, and has a good sense of humor. And, I have to admit, he is QUITE attractive. His profile includes a couple of pictures of him at the beach, and he has quite the body. He appears to be very interested (don’t they all) in yours truly. Even when I crack jokes about him being chased by cute 20 something girls, he says “I’m interested in YOU.’ He happens to be out-of-town for the next few days; but if things keep going the way they are, I suspect we’ll meet by the end of this week.

Next is “The Chef.” He is a 35-year-old nutritionist starting a new job at an area retirement home. As I write this post, he is literally moving from his current town to mine to start his new gig. He is from this area originally, so he is moving back home. He too is intelligent, well read, and funny. He also fancies himself a musician, so he does have a touch of artistic pretension about him. (I can deal with THAT; Robert thought of himself as an art photographer…and had more than his fair share of artistic snobbery.) He told me he is staying with a friend until he finds his own place. (The “friend” lives in the same part of town as I; so a face to face meeting is very likely sometime this week as well.) He isn’t anywhere near as attractive as The Marine, but he does seem to be a very nice man, who I wouldn’t mind at least meeting.

Now, I know I swore off younger men after Larry but quite honestly, the younger men are the ones showing interest in me right now. So, I thought I should try again. Granted, Neal and Sam exhibited the same behavior as the other younger men I’ve communicated with.

So, what makes these guys different?

First, they APPEAR to have their shit together. One has a clear career goal in mind (lawyer) the other has an established career (very different from the first set of younger men.)

Second, neither of these guys have gotten overly sexual…YET. Yes, definitely some sexual innuendo and jokes…which really doesn’t bother me at all. (Hell, I probably initiated the innuendo.)

AnnaBalecho9Now, I’m not stupid. Both of these guys want to get laid. (Don’t all men?) However, I have made it perfectly clear THAT will not happen at our first meeting…and probably not the second. Though my buddy Jason says I oughta break the rules and “give it up” on the second date. 😉 And Mary (who is a cougar/MILF) says I owe myself the chance to experience what dating a younger man is like.

In an earlier post, I talked about the whole Mrs. Robinson thing.

So here I am, seven months later, about to venture into the role of “cougar.” I don’t know… I feel more like a kitten.  But, maybe I owe myself this experience.

the_graduate_386x470We’d like to know
A little bit about you
For our files.
We’d like to help you learn
To help yourself.
Look around you. All you see
Are sympathetic eyes.
Stroll around the grounds
Until you feel at home.

And here’s to you, Mrs. Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know
Wo wo wo
God bless you, please, Mrs. Robinson,
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
Hey hey hey, hey hey hey

You never know until you try, after all.