Life’s Been Good


Year One, Month 5, Day 16

I know, I know, I know.

I’ve been a bad Lizzie the last couple of months to not keep you up to date on what’s been going on in my life.

So, Gentle Reader, let me catch you up on my doings.

First, I became a great-aunt for the second time about seven weeks ago.  A beautiful baby girl.  I was actually present in the delivery room since neither of my niece’s parents could be present at the birth.  One was caring for my nearly two-year old nephew, the other was coming in a couple of days later once my niece was out of the hospital.

It was an honor to be there  as a sweet, innocent life came into the world. The following day, as I was rocking my new niece and watching the news from the Ukraine, I realized the best way to achieve world peace was to sit in a rocking chair with a newborn in your arms.

There is no way you can think bad thoughts when you are cradling a baby.

Second, I have organized a book club among my friends, so  running it has been good for my brain as I research new books and decide what we’ll be reading next.  I also joined a second club and have made several new friends through it.  I’ve read several excellent books, and now have several more on my list.  So, now on those rare evenings when I am not out and about, I have an interesting book to keep me company.

Third, ny dear friend Mary has gotten me involved in organizing a fundraiser for the local Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.  I have been looking for some kind of public service event or charity to become involved with, and when she approached me to head up the media and marketing team for this event she is chairing, I jumped on it.  She’s also roped in several of our friends as well, so planning this shindig is proving to be fun!

Fourth, my freelance work has been picking up, and even though I haven’t yet been offered a full-time job anywhere, I have had several interviews in the last month, so I know it’s just a matter of time before I am offered gainful employment.

Finally, I have been seeing a terrific guy I’ll call “Alex.”

Whoops.

I buried the lead.

We met on OK Cupid, the night after my niece was born.  I had gotten home from nearly thirty-six hours at the hospital, and I was exhausted. I checked my messages, and I saw that I had a pile of messages waiting to be read.  I opened Alex’s, and was immediately impressed.

It was well written, sincere, and obvious that he had read my entire profile.  He lived about twenty miles away from me, was the same age as my brother (58), college educated, attractive, and a ninety-one percent match.

Usually a match that high meant he lived hundreds of miles away from me… not a mere twenty.

I saw he was online, and I decided to go ahead and respond.    He replied almost immediately.

We began chatting, and before I realized it, it was nearly 1AM, and I was about to fall asleep with my head on the keyboard of my laptop. We said good night and he asked if we could continue the conversation the following day.  I said, of course, and sweet dreams.

By the end of the weekend, Alex had asked me out to dinner for either Thursday or Friday that the following week…depending upon my schedule with the new baby and my family obligations.

To make a long story short, we met for dinner on Thursday… and we hit it off. The conversation was easy and relaxed, He was utterly charming and sweet.  He even gave me a single red rose when he met me.  (Cheesy, I know, but NO ONE had ever done that before.)  When he walked me back to my car, he asked if I was available the following Tuesday evening (I was going to visit my bestie Ann that weekend for her fifieth birthday party), and after I said yes, he kissed me.

Fireworks.

Again, to make a long story short, Alex and i have been seeing each other two or three times a week for the last six weeks. No, we haven’t met each others families.  We haven’t met each others friends (unless we happened to bump into them when we were together).

But I don’t think it will be too long before that happens.

In upcoming posts, I’ll talk a little more about what is actually going on in our relationship…and a few of the complications. (Yes, there are some…but I’m not freaking out over them.)  But while I do see some yellow caution flags, I am not rushing things with him.  I’m letting this relationship develop as it will.  But, I can say confidently, that Alex isn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

Right now, life is pretty damn good for LIzzie.  My life is full of friends, intellectual stimulation, and romance.

It’s all starting to come together…and I’m damn glad I’m finally getting the sweet end of lollipop.

 

 

Here Comes the Sun


Year 1, Month 3, Day 1

Welcome back, Gentle Reader.

I’m surprised you’ve returned, considering how gloomy my last posts were.   I guess all the wintry weather and Valentine’s Day got to me more than I realized.

But, I’m over it now.

I guess it was another case of the menopause blues.  🙂

When I woke up this morning, I could see the first rays of sunlight streaming into my bedroom, I could hear birds singing outside my window, and I could feel the warmth in the air.

The “long cold lonely winter” is nearly over.

Granted, I’m still not in a real relationship…I’m still in love with Peter… and I’m still looking for a full-time job.

But, the flip side is:

  • I know what I am looking for in a man (and I’m not going to settle)
  • I have the wisdom gained from my past relationships to guide me
  • I had a very promising job interview last week

In other words, things are starting to turn around for Lizzie.

I know it is trite to say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, but it really does.  I recognized the signs I was about to slide into another extended period of depression, and I’m nipping it in the bud.   I am going to live in the present and let the past go.  I am actually grateful for the experiences I have had over the last six years.

I look back and smile, because the last six years made me who I am NOW… stronger and wiser.

I KNOW I’m not a silver medalist.  I KNOW I’m not second best.  I KNOW I am going to find my Mr. Darcy.

Here comes the sun…
Here comes the sun…and I say…
It’s all right…

Love is a Battlefield


Day 394  (1 year, 29 days)

Hello, Gentle Readers.  Lizzie is back.

I know you guys must have been wondering where the hell I have been.

To be honest, I had seriously considered shutting this blog down, but I realized I needed to be able to write out my thoughts and get the occasional bit of feedback.

Now, I don’t where to start.

Well, I’ll start shortly before Christmas.  I promise…the highlights only.

  1. I did not get the job I interviewed for.
  2. I have closed my parent’s estate…that entailed A LOT of drama with my greedy ass in-law and sucked a lot of the fun out of the holidays.
  3. I spent Christmas with my sister (who lives ten hours away)  since I was going to be persona non grata at the sibling’s celebration (half an hour away) because of the greedy ass in-law.
  4. I started a FWB relationship with a married man.

See there.  I buried the lead.

Let me explain a bit about the FWB relationship.  It is with the married man who hit on me shortly after my birthday.  HE (no pseudonym, I’ll just refer to him as HE ,HIM, or HIS) has been in regular touch ever since my birthday, asking me to sleep with HIM.  I kept declining.  After all, I was seeing Troy, and I’m not the type of woman to sleep with two men at the same time…usually.

After things sputtered to a halt with Troy, I was feeling unattractive and lonely.  HIS attention and obvious desire was what I needed to rebuild my confidence.  Plus, it didn’t hurt that HE is a very handsome, funny, and intelligent man I’ve had a small crush on since high school.

So, about a week before Christmas, when he asked me to come see him in his city (which is an easy three-hour drive from my city) I said yes.  He booked a hotel room not far from his office, arranged for an early check-in , and asked me to get as early a start as I could the next day; which as it turned out was about 7:30am.

We spent a lovely afternoon together; I hesitate to call it “making love” but it was closer to that than fucking.  Between sessions, he and I would actually talk like the old friends we were.   When I asked him why he was willing to risk his marriage, he said he and his wife had not had sex in two years (since she went into menopause), and that he was tired of not being “intimate” with a woman…but that at the same time he still loved his wife and didn’t want to divorce her.  He swore that he had not actually had intercourse with a woman other than his wife since before he got married twenty years earlier, though he was a member of an “affairs” website, and had “plenty of oral” with women on the site.

I, of course, don’t quite believe this story.   I’m not stupid, after all.  Since HE is very well off financially, I suspect he has other, more practical reasons for not divorcing…YET.  During our conversation HE let slip that they had very little common philosophically (she is a fundamentalist Christian, HE is an agnostic Jew; she is very conservative politically, HE is very liberal, etc.).

So, do I think a divorce likely for HIM?

Yes.

Do I think HE will want a relationship with me after IF HE divorces?

No.

Which is a shame.  HE is a very good match for me on paper; smart, funny, handsome, sensitive, and kind.  But, after Peter, I have a far less romantic view of affairs. And I have no intention of breaking up HIS marriage. If HE decides to divorce, it will because HE wants it for HIMSELF, not for me.  And, how am I to know that HE wouldn’t fool around if we got seriously involved?  So, this is purely a fling for both of us.

We parted mid afternoon so he could put in an appearance at his office at the end of the day and get home at his usual time, and so I could get back to my home and avoid his city’s nightmarish traffic.  I get home early evening, and let HIM know I arrived safe and sound. HE responds, saying HE enjoyed the afternoon, and hopes we can spend more time together…soon.

The rest of the week zips by…thanks to all the drama caused by my greedy ass in-law and last-minute Christmas shopping for my sister.  I leave for her house on Christmas Eve, arriving in time for dinner.

We spend Christmas day with her in-laws.  I had never met any of them, and was instantly welcomed into their family.  So, I ended up having a very pleasant day…and found it sad that I had to travel 600 miles to enjoy a family Christmas when I had sibling  living 30 miles away.  sigh.

I spent the next day with Rachel at her family’s vacation home (which happens to be about 30 minutes away from my sister’s place). Again, it was a fun day of shopping, girl talk, and laughter…which I sorely needed.

That night, I’m talking with my sister, when I get a text from HIM.

HE asked when I was heading back home…and if my route would bring me through HIS city?  I told HIM I was heading back the next day…and that I could indeed drive through HIS city.

So, you guessed it.

We hooked up the next day for a couple of hours.  And, yes, it was fun and passionate.  I’m still convinced that he will divorce his wife, but that our hooking up is not going to be a regular thing.

When I get home, I again let HIM know that I arrived safely, and we proceed to flirt for an hour or so.

Now, what about 2014?

I’ll just say, I haven’t heard from HIM since New Years Eve… and I have no idea if I will.

Now, let me get you up to speed on the other guys I have been talking with since New Years:

  1. “John” is my age, lives not too far from my friends Ann and Rachel.  We have been texting/talking for the last couple of weeks…and I think a meeting is imminent.
  2. “Bob” is 41  and lives in the same city as Ann. We have met a couple of times when he is in town. His company’s main office is in my city, so he is here every three weeks or so.
  3. “Neal”  is 34, lives in town, and is quite attractive.  He is a prospective FWB should HE drop off the face of the earth.
  4. “Elliott” is 52, lives in town, and we are planning to meet face to face for drinks tomorrow afternoon.  (So, I’ll have an update for you on him very soon.)

Again each of these men are worth separate blog posts, so as I meet them I’ll fill you in on their back stories.

I do have a couple of funny/horrifying stories that happened in the week before New Year’s Eve; but those are worthy of separate blog posts, so I’ll just tease you with these…one was the weirdest date I have ever been on, the other is the worst date I have ever been on.

So, Lizzie is back and looking forward to an interesting 2014, Gentle Readers.  I hope you’ll stick with me while I continue to look for “a” Mr. Right… or… at the very least…a Mr. Right Now.